Release your inner psychopath.
This is what the Dude’s dad wanted for Christmas. Or possibly the essence of this, enlarged by 150%.
It looked bigger on Amazon.
THE CROSSROADS SNOWMAN MUST GET REBORN THIS YEAR.
If you replace the egg with one tablespoon of potato starch dissolved into two tablespoons of water, these are dairy, egg and gluten-free. Add a generous teaspoon of vanilla for a smoother taste. Use chunky, all-natural peanut butter for the most interesting texture. Make them about a quarter inch thick before you bake them. Don’t mention to the person with food allergies that you could have baked them muffins if you hadn’t been too lazy to trek to the health food store for almond flour.
Guess whose birthday gift came early?
The Dude has ordered most of his Christmas gifts and is vaguely looking at which wrapping paper he wants to buy.
The Dudette has got all but one in her possession, all but three wrapped and is torturing herself with pie charts over the fact that the Dude’s dad has only three presents, but the Dude’s mom has the cheapest presents, and both are going to think she doesn’t love them as much as their daughter.
Christmas market time. That one month of year where you’re the weird one if you don’t spend your evenings drinking alcohol out of a coffee mug in public.
Sorry for the crappy stuff lately. Not much is happening, so you’re getting all the things that seemed like a good idea at the time, then got banished to the back of the queue while funner stuff happened.
There’s a quaint little restaurant somewhere in Germany. Middle of nowhere. You won’t find it without a gps and a car with a microscopic turning circle.
The toilets have two kinds of hand soap and insanely spacious stalls that have central heating and a basket of hand cream, hair spray, wet wipes, antiseptic towellettes, deodorant and tampons.